


So Do I Swear

by JosephineSilver (sealingdesigneejosephine)



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Angst, F/M, Promises, Spoilers, Survivor Guilt, contamination sidequest, directly after end/epilogue, identity crisis, if you want to think this has a happy ending don't read chapter two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 08:09:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6321721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sealingdesigneejosephine/pseuds/JosephineSilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“Why are… you here?” She spoke hesitantly, falteringly, her voice nearly inaudible around the difficult words she forced out. Are you real?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She nearly started when the figure, he, turned his head to the side, gazing out across the sky and bay – up until that point he had been as still as a statue. “This place… has a nice view of Hod,” He said, and that was his voice, softer and gentler than she was used to, but his nonetheless. Hope, for the first true time since he had made that promise and smiled that horrible, fake smile at her, came to a fervent, burning life within Tear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And also,” he turned back to face towards her, and though his eyes were hidden by his long fringe of hair, there was a smile in his gentle voice, and gracing his face. His smile. “I promised someone.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>After the end, and before the rest of the story. Who is it that returned to them on the shores of the ruined Eldrant?</p><p> <a href="http://memoriesofpurelight.tumblr.com">|Tumblr|</a></p><p> <a href="http://twitter.com/lyrecho">|Twitter|</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good End

**Author's Note:**

> Half of me just wants the children to be happy, and the other half is still laughing on the canon ending as revealed by the contamination sidequests, screaming out "SUFFER. ANGST. ANGST." It's been laughing for years, and probably won't stop anytime soon.
> 
> I'm a sucker for tragedy and heartbreak. I'll write something happy to make up for this later, or maybe a hurt/comfort fic of some sort if I still feel the need for a smidge of sadness, but for now, ANGST.
> 
> ETA: ‘Jose, you got the hymn lyrics wrong-’ I don’t care. I transcribed these from the anime. I’m not going to change these now.

_"...tue lei zwe kuloa riou tue zwe..."_

He heard...on the breeze, like a flash, a hint of memory...

_"...kuloa riou zwe tue riou lei nue riou zwe..."_

A voice, familiar and haunting, a song...

_"...va lei zwe tue neu tue riou tue kuloa..."_

...He opened his eyes.

_"...riou lei kuloa riou zwe lei va zwe lei..."_

He woke up.

-x-

_"Lei va neu kuloa tue lei lei,_ " Drawing out the final note of the hymn, Tear finished her song, her tribute and memoriam to _him_.

As the last notes of the hymn faded into the still air, disturbed only by the faint rushing of waves and the sweet scent of selenias, time seemed to be frozen, to stretch, as Tear, seated on a rock, her place of vigil, held her breath and hoped against hope.

The stillness of the time and space Tear existed in was broken; shattered as Natalia shifted behind her, hesitated, and finally spoke up. “You didn’t come,” she said, voice somewhere between soft and stern, gaze lowered but fixed squarely on Tear’s back. “I believe your presence was requested at Luke’s coming of age ceremony at the Duke’s manor.”

Tear’s response was flat. “I’m not interested in some ceremony in front of Luke’s grave,” she stated bluntly, trying to ignore the hitch in her voice.

Anise spoke up next, and though Tear couldn’t see her friends, her back still turned to them, she could hear the younger girl fidgeting, the cloth of her clothes shifting with a whisper. “That’s why… the both of you came here, isn’t it?”

Guy, who had come with her, making remarkable process towards healing from his phobia of women, made a vague noise of assent as Tear continued to stare out towards the sea and the ruined Eldrant, hoping wishing and praying that her will alone could reach out to him and make him keep his promise.

“He said he’d be back,” Guy stated cheerfully – which was a lie, a front he was putting up in friends that were grieving just as much as he, so as not to add to the general feeling of gloom that pervaded whenever they came together. “So let the others sit around and tell stories at his grave. But I won’t be joining them.”

The determination with which Guy spoke – the loyalty and pure belief that made up his voice – made him seem almost confrontational as he addressed Anise, but all those gathered knew that wasn’t true.

Tear smiled softly. Guy was such a good friend.

It was then that Jade sighed. “We should be heading back soon. This valley is dangerous at night.”

He was right, of course. Though Tear wanted to argue that no monsters milling about the valley could possibly be as difficult to deal with as the God-Generals and her brother, she knew that Jade was right – not necessarily about the levels of safety, which was more likely than not a bluff, but on the fact that they should leave. They had wallowed enough for this one night, and hovering here for much longer would succeed in nothing but causing them to sink further into their Luke-centric depression.

And so, sighing herself, Tear turned and made to jump off of the rock she had perched herself on hours ago, hair fluttering in the gentle breeze that had picked up as the others slowly walked off to where the Albiore was parked.

It was then that a flicker of motion, a flash of a deeply familiar red mingling with glowing selenia petals in the faint starlight breeze, caught her eye, and her breathing hitched.

_No. It wasn’t possible, she was dreaming –_

But then, the sound came to her, the soft thump of footsteps on the slightly damp ground and the swash of _his_ cloak as he moved. The others turned as she made a choking, gasping sound, and Tear took one tumbling step forward, towards _him_.

_Are you real?_ She thought giddily, hysterically, as she paused once more in front of _him_ , just out of arms reach in case this was nothing more than a cruel dream. _He_ paused too, coming to a standstill equally distant from her.

Questions bubbled up in her mind, words and emotions that had spent nearly two years bottled up inside of her choking up her throat and burning her eyes. Behind her, Tear was aware of the presence of her – _his_ – their friends, but they may as well have not been there for all the attention she paid them.

“Why are… you here?” She spoke hesitantly, falteringly, her voice nearly inaudible around the difficult words she forced out. _Are you real?_

She nearly started when the figure, _he_ , turned his head to the side, gazing out across the sky and bay – up until that point he had been as still as a statue. “This place… has a nice view of Hod,” He said, and that was _his_ voice, softer and gentler than she was used to, but _his_ nonetheless. Hope, for the first true time since _he_ had made that promise and smiled that horrible, fake smile at her, came to a fervent, burning life within Tear.

“And also,” he turned back to face towards her, and though his eyes were hidden by his long fringe of hair, there was a smile in his gentle voice, and gracing his face. _His_ smile. “I promised someone.”

Tear _choked_ , and she couldn’t hold it back anymore. Tears spilled down her cheeks – from happiness? She didn’t know, everything was blurry in her mind – and she ran for _him_ , slamming into his chest with all her force and weight behind her. She had thought he would sway to her, or let out an ‘oof’ of breath as they collided, but he was a solid as fonstone and as still as a statue would be if it were to be carved from one. Nevertheless, after a momentary hesitance, shock, that Tear could feel building in the air around them, his arms rose up to return her tight embrace. He held her gently, almost unbelievably so, one arm pressed loose around her waist and the other cupped gently around the back of her head, her neck, tangling in her hair.

As the others rushed down, breaking through their shock and joyful disbelief, if Tear had been paying attention – she would’ve seen Jade’s façade break for a single, split second; blank masks and sarcastic smirks falling away to reveal a single, rueful smile and pained eyes.


	2. True End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANGST AHOY. Sorry. *not sorry*

He held his breath as Tear collided with the force of a battering fonic arte into him, into his arms.

This wasn’t as weird or as uncomfortable as it would have been, back when one was two. He hadn’t known Tear Grants except as Van’s sister and _his_ friend – but now, with he and _he_ as **he** once again, memories of the journey they had been on, of that first encounter in the manor courtyard that had opened up a whole new world, of Akzeriuth, of nights spent in quiet conversation and contemplation, he knew all that _he_ had known about Tear, felt all the _he_ had felt.

It was painful, it was real, it was what he felt for Natalia. His arms rose up automatically to embrace Tear, doing what _he_ would’ve wanted – comforting the crying girl, the love of _his_ life in his arms.

Tear was probably the best thing to ever happen to _him_. If she hadn’t come along, _he_ would’ve have never learned, never grown beyond the walls of the manor. Akzeriuth would’ve been even more of a disaster.

The others gathered here – and why were they here? – were rushing down now, and he tried valiantly not to look at Natalia, not wanting to give himself away, not wanting it all to hurt so much. It was easier than he thought it would be. After all, _he_ loved Tear, the girl weeping in his arms right now, and if he focused on her all else seemed almost to fade away.

A sigh, and his grip on Tear tightened.

_He_ loved Tear. He loved Natalia. **They** couldn’t be forced to choose between the two women that had loved them and they loved in return.

But in reality, there was no **them**. There was only him, with the memories and last wishes of _him_.

Once upon a time, he had made a promise to a girl he loved, and _he_ had fulfilled it in place of him, though _he_ would probably argue the fact.

Once upon a time, _he_ had made a promise to the girl that was crying into his chest.

He owed _him_. _He_ had done as _he_ had said _he_ would, and now he, who should’ve died, _had_ died, was left alive in _his_ place.

Natalia would’ve grieved him already, spent however long it had been since that final battle on Eldrant doing so. He was dead. To come back to life now would be cruel, especially so when Tear, whom he now loved equally as much as Natalia by cursed virtue of knowing _his_ life and emotions as his own, had still held out hope that _her_ promised one would return.

As the sobbing girl he loved began to attempt to bravely extricate herself from his grip in order to give the others gathered an opportunity to greet him, he knew he had to make a choice then and there, and stick with it.

He raised his gaze, and his eyes fell upon Natalia, the girl he loved that he’d left behind long before death had taken him.

Her gaze was on Tear, serene and happy, and as if she felt his gaze on her, she glanced up, and a genuine smile came to life on her face.

She was happy. She was looking at him thinking it was _him_ and was glad he was back, because now that was one less piece of family that she had lost, now Tear could begin to be happy again.

He realized this with a painful intake of breath, and made his choice.

Natalia would be fine. He had no business bringing in **their** presence into her life as she fully recovered and grew into ruling her country. There’d be other men for her – worthier men. She’d be fine.

And besides, he owed _him_. In those last moment as **they** had joined back together as the one they had always been, meant to be, before _his_ personality had been completely overtaken, _he_ had whispered one thing into his mind.

A flash of a traditionally pretty face, blushing as the girl it belonged to stammered. A haunting melody. A laugh that **they** would never forget. _Tell her I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep my promise_.

Well. He’d just have to keep it for _him_.

“Luke?” That was Guy, face hopeful but wary.

_No,_ he thought. _I’m sorry._

It really was unfair. He’d had no life, had nothing, and yet _he’d_ been the one to go, though _he’d_ been the one with a place and people to return to.

He grinned in response to Guy’s question, and pulled Tear back into his arms. “Well?” he asked her softly, consigning himself to this role and path he had chosen, prepared to keep up the masquerade for the rest of his life. “Did you miss me?”

Tear flushed a bright red, and began to stammer like she always had in _his_ memories. Around them, the others laughed and jumped on them and generally made a lot of noise at his confirmation that, _yes_ , Luke, their Luke, was back.

He smiled bitterly, and didn’t fight Tear as she impulsively pressed her lips against his, seemingly taken over by emotion. Gently, he kissed her back, and felt her smile.

Guy whooped, Anise laughed and jumped excitedly into Guy’s arms, which caused his celebratory cry to become a scream as he threw her onto the ground away from him, and Natalia laughed, bent over nearly in double.

_He_ had never experienced this, though _he_ had thought about it, that night on the Albiore when the words ‘ _I love you’_ had never left his mouth.

Jade, he noticed, as Tear pulled away and rested herself against his chest, nestling into his arms quietly as if in a daze, stood separate from the rest of the group.

His gaze was fixed on him, but the necromancer didn’t seem to be seeing him. His eyes were distant, and a bitter, regretful smile pulled at his lips.

_He knew_ , he realised. Of course – he was the creator of fomicry.

He swallowed and his grip on Tear convulsively tightened. Sighing in what appeared to be bliss, she didn’t complain.

Jade inclined his head but remained at a distance – close enough that the others wouldn’t question him but far enough away that it was clear he was very much _not_ welcoming him back. There was a grudging sort of respect in his gaze though, as Jade looked at the girl he held in his arms, and that was when he knew for sure – Jade would play along with his façade, his one final revenge against fomicry and the one that had replaced his replacement – he would truly be dead.

But in the end, it didn’t matter. Natalia would be okay. He’d _personally_ make sure Tear would be okay, for the sake of _him_.

Even if it cost him his own happiness, or existence, Asch would do as his replica had done and keep his promises, each and every single last one of them.

_He absolutely mustn’t die_ – a memory, not his but _his_ , of a determined vow made in an accursed tower to both a princess and _himself_. _He_ had kept that promise.

And so – Asch would once again wear the name he had had taken from him, cast away, lost, and would keep Luke’s promise for him.

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter is the 'good end.' The second chapter is the 'true end,' and if you want to stick to your happy little delusions I advise you _not_ to read it.


End file.
